


you are a bullet in my head

by joshdunfanatic



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: F/M, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-28 10:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6325423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshdunfanatic/pseuds/joshdunfanatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>josh loves tyler<br/>he loves tyler's love of taco bell<br/>loves tyler's love of singing<br/>he loves that tyler loves him<br/>what he doesn't love, is that tyler doesn't love sex<br/>or, josh dun is a nasty ass hoe</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. you can take my eyes. but baby, im not blind

**Author's Note:**

> title from spiderhead, by cage the elephant

josh looks up, and sees tyler standing there, in the ajar doorway.  
he's wearing a poker face, but josh knows him well enough to see the tears brimming.  
he knows him well enough to hear his heart shattering.  
tyler opens his mouth, and josh anticipates a biting insult.  
josh deserves it, he knows he does.  
but all tyler says is,"i'm happy for you."  
josh knows he isn't, knows by the way tyler is angrily slapping the rubber band against his arm.  
he knows by the way tyler's eyes bore holes into debby's bare skin.  
tyler steps out, but not before stealing a glance at josh.  
josh can see the way tyler snarls in disgust, and he wants to say something-he really does.  
he knows that a simple sorry will suffice, and tyler will be in his arms again, saying that it's okay, he understands.  
but josh can't open his goddamn mouth, he's not deserving of tyler-and he knows it.  
so josh watches.  
he watches as tyler closes the door, his head lowered in shame.  
he watches as debby gasps, he hadn't informed her of tyler.  
he watches as debby's hand slaps his cheek. he deserves it, he knows he does.  
he watches as she leaves, still pulling on her pants, her shirt inside out.  
he watches as the clock ticks by, mocking him. another minute wasted. another minute that he could've spent with his baby boy, his tyler. another minute he's wasted.  
he watches as his eyes flutter shut, awaiting a dreamless sleep.  
he watches as the sun rises, knowing that he doesn't deserve to bask in the sheer beauty of the sun.  
heck, he doesn't even deserve to see hell. he deserves to rot away, piece by piece. nobody ever coming back to find him.  
besides debby, as her shoes are still lying by his bed, lost in her haste to get the fuck away from him, a dirty, lying cheater.  
he sighs, a pitiful sigh. and then the phone rings. hesitantly, he picks it up.


	2. and as you stand over my grave (tell me it's okay)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit goes down, down, in an earlier round

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pleASE tell me if any aspects of asexuality are depicted incorrectly, as im not asexual.

(dis takes place a bit earlier)  
tyler was completely, hopelessly, infatuated with his best friend.  
the crinkle in josh's eyes, the smile that never faded.  
it caused tyler's heart to beat much faster than necessary, and the butterflies that resided in his stomach threatened to spill out of his mouth whenever josh looked at him.  
the feeling, however, was not mutual.  
josh was completely infatuated with debby.  
he spoke of her beautiful dimples, her luscious hair, he beautiful smile, her-  
josh spoke of debby the way tyler wished josh would speak of him.  
when josh and debby finally broke apart, their spark burning out, tyler couldn't help but feel a tiny bit happy.  
and when both josh and tyler were utterly intoxicated, and josh started to make advances, tyler felt happier than he had ever been in his twenty two years of life.  
but when josh began to grind on tyler, and stuck a hand down tyler's jeans, tyler felt sick to his stomach.  
he couldn't do it, he so desperately wanted to please josh, but he couldn't, not in the way that josh had wanted that night.  
and when tyler began to sob, muttering apologies under his breath as he gasped for air, josh pulled him into his warm grasp.  
tyler was infatuated, more so than he thought to be humanly possible.  
josh understood, he said. tyler didn't have to do anything that he didn't want to, it was fine. josh told tyler that he loved him more than he loved sex, and tyler believed him.  
if josh loved tyler so much, why would he do this to him.  
____________________________________  
tyler was happy, more so than ever before.  
he had decided to do it, after five years of dating, he had finally worked up the guts to propose to josh.  
he was too excited to knock, which he ended up regretting almost immediately.  
tyler fiddled with the box in his hands as he stared at the door, as dark thoughts began to set in.  
what if josh said no, what if josh said no, what if josh said-  
'fuck it,' tyler thought as he swung the door open, a grin plastered to his face.  
he looked into the apartment he shared with his sunshine, his dog breath, and he saw josh.  
josh was smiling, josh was slicked with sweat. josh was BALLS DEEP IN DEBBY FUCKING RYAN.  
tyler took deep breaths, in and out, as he felt a panic attack creep on.  
he should've know, no one would ever love him, not when he was so broken, so beyond fixing, so unlovable.  
he kept his smile plastered on, though, as he waited for the love of his life to look up from the girl who tyler thought was out of the picture.  
josh moaned, and tyler held back a sob.  
clearly, debby was a better lover than he. she wasn't broken, she was happy, she was everything he wasn't.  
debby's back arched, and tyler reached for the door, he had seen enough.  
he stole one more glance at josh,  
and josh looked up.  
the smile on josh's face fell, and tyler flashed him a grin, maybe josh would still love him if he was happy.  
tyler wanted to be mad, but the worst part was, he understood why josh did it.  
"i-im happy for you," tyler stuttered, turning the doorknob. he saw josh open his mouth, but nothing came out. it was fine, though. actions spoke louder than words, and josh clearly didn't love him anymore, he probably never did.  
tyler fled, like he coward he believed himself to be.  
he could hear the sound of skin to skin contact, josh and debby probably finishing what they had started.  
tyler slid down against the wall outside of the apartment complex and sobbed.  
he wasn't good enough for josh, josh hated him, he hated him so much.  
tyler had nowhere to go, he lived with josh, he had no other friends besides jenna, and she lived about twenty minutes away, and she probably hated him too, and-  
tyler smiled to himself . he had a plan, he would make josh love him again, josh would have to love him. tyler chuckled to himself as he walked up to the roof.  
he made it to the top and giggled, one foot already over the edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im really sorry if there are typos or whatnot. i typed it on my phone in about twenty minutes, so it's quite suckish.  
> whelp


	3. am i losing my mind, here? (cause i can't tell.)

josh picked up the phone, still stuck in between feeling sorry for himself, and feeling like the piece of shit he knew he was.  
he slowly brought the phone to his ear, his movements slow, as though he were in molasses.  
"hello," he mumbled.  
he was met with the loudest scream that had ever been uttered from the mouth of a human.  
"JOSHUA FUCKIN DUN! GUESS WHO THE FUCK IT IS. YOURE RIGHT, BITCH. ITS JENNA, AND IM AT YOUR DOOR, SO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, YOU NASTY ASS SLUT!"  
josh wasn't even surprised at jenna's outburst, she had been tyler's best friend since birth, and nothing shocked josh anymore. you can't feel shock if you don't feel anything.  
"TODAY, FUCKER!" jenna yelled from the hallway.  
josh mustered up the energy to stand up, and he dragged himself to the door, though his bones told him not to.  
he grasped the knob, turned it, and was met with a fist to the face.  
"THATS WHAT YOU GET, YOU CHEATING ASSWIPE!" jenna screamed, her hair greasy, up in a ponytail, and still clad in her pajamas.  
josh, poor, stupid josh, retorted with a,"what the fuck are you wearing."  
this only angered jenna further, her face turning a shade of inhuman red. "well," she said, "i can tell you what tyler's wearing. he's wearing a fucking hospital gown after jumping off of the roof!"  
suddenly, josh could feel again. he felt his heartbeat race, he felt jenna slam the door, and he felt his feet making their way up the stairs.  
he wonders if this is how tyler felt, dirty and broken beyond repair.  
he wonders if tyler looked back on everything he done, wishing that he could turn back time. there's so much he could've done, so much he could've changed, so much-  
"im coming, tyler." josh whispered as he neared his destination. he placed one foot in front of the other, and felt nothing but regret as he walked off of the roof.


	4. lo siento

i just reread this fic and realized how much i hated it. i don't think i'll update this again.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry that this sucks massive dick. i haven't ever written a fanfic, and i chose to do this for fun, so i may not continue.


End file.
